Monday, November 23, 2009

O_o

Hair. It's going to take over the world. Yes it is. These seemingly harmless bunches of "dead" cells are actually very clever organisms who know better than to make their presence felt to the rest of the world. Them operates when and where one leas expects it.. The first time i noticed their sneaky, mischievious activity was in the bathroom.
Before we get into that, let me explain how much I have managed to uncover about these demons collectively called Hair.

But before that, let me sing a wonderful song so I have your complete attention.

O, Haseena, zulfon wali jaane jahan!
Dhoondti hai kaafir aankhen kiska nishaan?
Mehfil mehfil-e-shama,
phirti ho kahaan?

Woh anjaanaaa dhoondti hoon,
woh deevanaaa dhoondti hoon,
jalakar jooo chhip gaya hai, woh parvaanaaaa dhoondti hoon!

NOW, if you have noticed, there is a comma after haseena, and not after zulfon. This is because the HAIR is being sung about, and the haseena is being praised for having hair. This song is very old, this means that our ancestors had realised that Hair are living organisms, but they did not know that Hair aspires to conquer the world!

About hair.
Hair is seen only on mammals. This is because mammals possess a quality called loveliness. Hairs are suckers for loveliness.
Hair has existed since twenty-three hundred years before cockroaches even roached the world. From when it was created, hair roamed free on the earth and neighbouring planets for many years. And then there were dinosaurs. All the hair across the solar system was so shocked by the freakish distortedness of the shape of the dinosaurs, they pretended to be dead and have remained that way ever since.

Hairs use many methods of communication, telepathy being the commonest of all because of it's simplicity. They messages that pass between hairs are sometimes caught by humans, whose weirdacko minds interpret them as voices in their heads or their conscience.
Another reason hair chooses to grow on the skin of mammals is that the skin of a mammal has the similarest cellular strucute, the only difference (or so we thought) is that hair cells are dead.

There are different communities of hair in the world. They are formed based on colour, texture, or awesomeness and awfulness.
One set of communities is blond, black, brown, red, blonder, blacker, browner and redder.
Other than those, there are curly, wavy, straight, groovy and cartoony.
The awesomenesses and awfulnesses are communities with a population made of hybrids of the types mentioned below.

So, as I was saying, I have managed to uncover a little about their sneaky mischieviousness.
Many of us have faced and still face problems of hairloss, yes?
As some of you (special uns) must've guessed by now, it's not actually because of lack of nutrition that we're losing hair.
Hair sends out armies of hairlets periodically into the world we see with our fantastically clouded eyese. These armies are responsible for many problems that we face.
Off the top of my head, bathrooms are an active place.
While you're shampooing your hair and singing It's My Life, the armies are quietly dropping off your head and heading straight towards the drain pipe. Over a period, the rain pipe gets clogged and hair puts in all efforts to pull out whatever has passed thru it and make the pipe spew it back out. This way, they can cause epidemics, which leave them at an advantage.
I'm sure that there are many such things that we will find hair responsible for.

I wish them all the best and will not discourage their taking over the world, as I have seen that they have a noble soul, and will make great rulers.
I will stand by you in all your deeds, and promise not not to disappear if you ever get into trouble. I will remain neutral.
Take care :)