Thursday, April 29, 2010

Glucon D.

Look, sun, I know you have great power, but it is unacceptable that you show off so much. People are dying! They look up to you, only to turn away in fear of your wrath! Look at what you've become! Once a tiny part of your mother, the universe, you have turned into this! No one questions your importance, you're essential for life to exist. But such power is turning you into a monster. I agree, most of the places in the torrid zone are very attractive, if not for their government. But however juicy we are, it is wrong to suck out our energy. You're constantly demanding attention, all day! We are forced to buy blinds to prevent you from seeing us.
Remember, with a great shower comes great aromatherapy. Or something like that.
Look at the moon. So gentle, so white. Reminds you of Dove soap. Isn't it beautiful? No, I'm not calling you ugly. You are magnificent.
"But the moon is STUPID! All it cares about is rabbits and cheese! And it only works full-time twice a month! And always admiring its reflection in lakes and ponds!"
And you think you are any better? Being a workaholic does not make you any better than the moon. It's in the moon's character to behave that way. If the moon is vain, you are incredibly proud.
You know why there's a hole in the ozone? CFCs. And why are CFCs haunting the atmosphere? Because we need refrigeration. And why do we need refrigeration? Thaaat's right. So whose fault is it?
I step into my balcony to get some fresh air, look at the noisy children arguing with various aunties, relax after eating a whole watermelon. But noooo. Everything looks yellow and orange. It's like I borrowed a pair of Govinda's sunglasses, minus the relaxing effect of sunglasses.
Aren't you, like, several billion years old? That's older than, like, bell-bottomed pants, or something. When will you learn? You don't have to show off your power to every new species created. It's annoying. You're getting senile. Get married. Take a holiday. Let the evening star take over for a bit.
Okay, that was unnecessary. See what the heat does to people? All I want is for you to realize what you're doing to people. Sometimes, it's okay to exert your power. It's a win-win. You turn up the heat, we invent ice-cream and watermelons. But for now, stop making me cry.

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