Sunday, August 29, 2010

...I stood bare body in the middle of the road. Or was it ON the road?

It was a sunny day sometime in 2010,
I came out and greeted my neighbour's cat, Ben
It rolled its eyes and flicked its tail,
hissed at me as I went to get the mail
For some reason that day I was feeling oddly light,
I noticed a few heads popping into sight
I nodded at some and a few smiled back,
a couple of them made the skin crawl on my back
My pretty neighbour winked with a smirk,
a gesture that instantly gave me a perk
One of the Jones's kids hurled water balloons at his brother,
soon both kids were screaming for their mother
I went back in and poured some myself cornflakes,
I noticed something that made me double take
I felt so shy and infuriatingly silly,
I realised everyone had been saying hi to my willy
The pajamas I'd been wearing were hanging by a hook,
Never before had I felt like such a shmuck
I went to see myself in the looking glass,
feeling more and more by the minute like a big arse
Speaking of which, I did notice that people didn't seem to mind
taking a good look at my well formed behind
I did a little jig and winked at my reflection,
thinking to myself I personified perfection
From that moment on I felt so incredibly cocky,
I even thought to stink-eye my little rubber ducky
This is how, I decided, I will spend my day,
striking a pose that looked almost gay
There was a procession going on out there,
I had to be in it, I thought, smoothing my hair
I went outside knowing c'est la mode
I stood bare body in the middle of the road.